Carving out your identity
As a professional coach, I work with leaders to help them connect with their inner strengths as they face organisational challenges. And I’ve seen the direct power that my clients can access when they connect with their inner self, which enables them to find a skilful way forward. This doesn’t mean it is not without turmoil - for every path of insight has turmoil. But it does mean that leaders who can look inward can find ways to carve out their authentic identity and use this to thrive in work and in life.
Many leaders I coach have long had a ‘drive to achieve’, yet they discover that they can’t remember a time when they’ve invested energy into consciously looking at this, or where this drive comes from. Together, we walk a path to insights on how their leadership identity impacts on their ability to enact positive change. Often times, our exploration reveals that they’ve not really taken the time before to connect with, let alone identify, the relationship between how they see themself as a leader, and how they see themself as a human.
And this is understandable. If we are to stop and really dig deeply into the ‘masks we wear’ at work, and look behind this into our unspoken competing priorities, we are forced to face the fact that sometimes we don’t live a life in alignment with the very values that we espouse. The more skilful we get at looking, the more we find.
This is why walking the insightful path can be scary, hard work. Yet most steps on one’s leadership journey will necessarily involve this type of work. Growth in identity requires a disruption of the current state, and an experience of the turmoil, in order to make sense of what is the next step.
And this path into your own ‘cave of insights’ will necessarily bring you into contact with pain, and loss, and fear.
However, there are tools that can help light the path, and thus help you do this skilfully. What are these tools?
Foremost - simply by understanding that this pain, and loss, and fear are part of the process.
You have to step into the ‘cave’ of your inner world, and take the time to connect and discover where you are reacting to enable you to respond. You need to identify where you are judging so that you can build your powers of discernment. And through a journey into the ‘cave’ of your inner world, you need to discover where the essential elements of who you are can be found. This will enable you to manifest an ‘authentic’ you, regardless of the context.
I have long been fascinated by this part of leadership. And, when looking at leaders across the sectors, I am more and more realising that conflict and one’s ability to skilfully ‘lean into’ the conflict, be it within one’s self, or within a team, or an organisation is a critical skill. This, and the willingness to contextualise the struggles, are what I consider core skills for leadership mastery. At work, and in life.
This is an area I want to explore in this post, as well as in my professional and personal life. But this exploration requires more ‘heart’, more vulnerability, and more effort than merely understanding the next leadership framework, or model. It is something that requires a vulnerability to share one’s struggles and to call out one’s personal unskillfulness. And that…. that is scary stuff. It requires ‘heart’.
If you are finding that you are experiencing difficulty in your leadership journey - and you find that this difficulty seems to have arisen before… then it may be more than situational.
Take heart. There are actions you can take to help you to address this.
One of these is to change how you relate to the issue. Find someone who you know is not going to judge you, but rather help you to discern what is occurring for you. Someone who has your best interest at heart, and can help you discover how you want to be in this world. Someone you trust will be able to skilfully help you see what is between you and making this happen. This person could be a trusted colleague, a mentor, a friend, or even a trained professional coach. And this person, I’m sure you will find, will be an incredibly valuable travelling companion on your path to insight.
Carving out your identity is a process, and takes time. However, if you invest in this practice, you will find that you will start to see everything through this lens. And along your leadership journey, you will see yourself being far more skilful than you have been before. What would once have been an insurmountable leadership challenge will turn into an interesting hurdle that you are able to get over. You will find that you are well and truly on the path toward your insights, and are uncovering the leader that you want to be.
If you want to explore an Insightful Path with a skilled and trusted professional, reach out to me today. I’d love to help you uncover your insights along the path.